Jokes?  (Read 1509 times)

GPREZQ

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #15 on: November 28, 2018, 16:27 »
 :)) :)) :)) O:-)  nice one kops


A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blonde replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for less than $20 and expect it to be there when I return?"

 :)) O:-)

kops

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #16 on: November 28, 2018, 16:37 »
lol don't, I'll have to annoy you with a 1000s of shaggy dog stories I've got stored for annoying family members.

GPREZQ

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #17 on: November 28, 2018, 16:47 »
 :)) :)) O:-)

Piano

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #18 on: November 29, 2018, 13:02 »
What do you call a guy who just hangs around his house all day and just beats his cannon all game long?

[RMD]JoeMillionaire

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #19 on: March 03, 2019, 17:38 »
Its the first day at school, and the teacher asks the children to present themselves and well tell us what your parents do.
The first kid : my name is Kevin and my dad is a fireman....
The teacher : Oh its a nice job Kevin. Next!
The second kid :  My name is Mary Ann, am my mom is a nurse at the hospital.
The teacher: fine job indeed Mary Ann, next!
The third kid:  My name is John and my dad... huh my dad is dead....
All the children starts to open big eye balls, looking around, with weird faces...
The teacher reacts right away : well... John, what was he doing before he died ?
John : he was doing "wuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg"


NOPE

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #20 on: June 15, 2019, 09:29 »
NOPE's aim

NOPE

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #21 on: June 21, 2019, 19:01 »
You wanna hear a joke about pizza?








Nevermind, it's too cheesy. ::)

GPREZQ

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #22 on: June 21, 2019, 20:52 »
 :D NOPE

NOPE

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #23 on: June 25, 2019, 07:01 »
This isn't a joke but a true story of why you shouldn't drink too much whiskey and why NOPE should legally be allowed to park in handicapped parking spots.

So, it was about 10 years ago in south Louisiana (United States.) Me and my older brother were drinking a buttload of whiskey near a hunting camp near Golden Ranch Plantation in south Louisiana. I was three sheets to the wind, sitting on the front porch (this was approximately 1:00 am and pitch black) and I noticed this owl in the front yard. I don't know if you have ever had the privilege to witness such a beautiful animal, but it was somewhat awe inspiring. Seeing it move it's head looking around as though it was on a swivel; I felt close to nature and I will never forget that feeling.  My brother came out the front door onto the porch and I immediately told him to close the door and be quiet so he could witness the owl. I was actually pretty stoked that he could see it, I said, "Wade, shhhh check it out." while I pointed to the owl. I told him, "Dude, be quiet, don't scare the owl." He took one look at the owl and said, "You're f&*[k!ng retarted, that's a fire hydrant." It turns out I was watching a fire hydrant the entire time.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2019, 08:31 by NOPE »

GPREZQ

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #24 on: June 25, 2019, 15:30 »
 :)) :)) :)) O:-)So funny... :D  I understood all you said being from the south  ;)